FWIW in case anyone is interested. I finally got an answer back from Verizon about delayed activation.
"You do have the ability to purchase the iPhone early, and wait to activate the device on Christmas. We certainly anticipate that you and your wife will be pleased with the new iPhone device, however, we understand how important it is to be confident in your Customer Guarantee.
Currently, your Customer Guarantee gives you 14 days from the purchase date to return a device that you may be unhappy with or have changed your mind about. However, with the special Holiday Return and Exchange Policy, we have made an exception. Purchases made between 11/15/2011 and 12/28/2011 may be returned or exchanged no later than 01/15/2011. Again, we anticipate that you will be pleased with the device, we just want to make sure that you are fully aware of your options. "